There’s
this homeless young man—23 years of age and one of the nicest guys I have ever
met—who is friends with Richard named Quentin.
He’s been coming by the apartment pretty sporadically for about four
months looking for Richard, who always seems to be away when he stops by. He rings the doorbell, asks if Richard is
home, I say no and then he asks me for some money or food, clothes or to use my
phone. I happily oblige only because he
just has the most humble personality I think I have ever seen in a person. He told me a little about himself
yesterday—about how he’s been homeless off and on for quite some time, hustling
and grinding, trying to make a come-up.
He’s planning on attending Baltimore City Community College or Job Corps
soon and he’s working on a mix tape. And
it’s not like he wants a pity party.
He’s been sleeping in the laundry room downstairs and doesn’t want me to
tell Richard because he doesn’t want him to worry.
Well,
here’s where things get a little kinky.
I seem to get a hard-on whenever he comes around. He’s quite easy on the eyes and he’s very
much a conversationalist. He’s quite
charming and very polite and I seem to go for guys like that. He told me that he wants kids of his own and
how he was taking very good care of his brother’s kids for a while and I can
tell he would be an awesome dad. Other
than his mental disability—schizophrenia—I really can’t seem to dictate a flaw,
although I’m pretty sure there’s more to the picture than he’s letting on. He has somehow contributed to his unfortunate
circumstances—I’m just guessing—but I’ve spent many nights praying for
him. Quentin always tells me that the
God will bless me but he just doesn’t know how much of a blessing he’s been to
me.
To
cut to the chase, I made a pass at him last night while he was sleeping on the
couch. I can’t believe I even had the
guts to do so. That has got to be the
first time I’ve ever done so. (Well I made a pass at him back in September but it was way too subtle for him to even notice.) While he
was in his deep sleep, I put my lips up to his.
He didn’t respond right away. It
took him a few seconds to come to and he turned me down. “I don’t want to get shot.” “It’s alright,” I said. He said, “Naw, I know the people Richard
hangs around.” At that point I grabbed
his crotch and said, “Are you sure?”
“Yeah.” He at least gave me a
kiss and he told me that this would stay between us two.
Wow! Am I that horny? I think so and I’m pretty unhappy with my
current circumstances. I really don’t
want to be with Richard anymore and we are currently in a rush trying to find
an apartment. It seems like we’ll never
find anyplace better or even equal to where we are living now. It’s just a mess because he lives paycheck to
paycheck with no savings and we really can’t even afford to move. The only reason why he even has a security
deposit is because he’s skipping out on November’s rent. I really can’t tell you where his money goes
but it’s really none of my business.
He’s been providing for me full time since February and he doesn’t even
expect me to help with the payment on a new apartment. In all, I can’t really complain.
Well,
if you think about I really can. We fuss
and fight like cats and dogs and it’s becoming a daily occurrence. And it’s all because he won’t listen—and because he’s dumb as all
hell. I swear if I had it, I would leave
him in the dust. However, it’s that kind
of thinking that is not helping the relationship one bit. Teon called me again last night. I didn’t answer so he sent a text message my
way. The only thing is I have no clue
what the text message entailed only because I only receive the first letter of
any texts I receive on my main cell phone.
What kind of shit is that?
Reachout Wireless says that I need a new cell phone but I don’t see how that
would help much. Too bad I can’t afford
one at the moment. I’m praying that I
get approved for cash assistance under the Temporary Disability Assistance
Program. I’m also begging Jesus for a
new job. Yet I know that all things come
in due time. Jesus always seems to
surprise me with a blessing especially when my funds are low, so I’m really
counting on it real soon. I know that he
will never leave me or forsake me.
Once again, Richard goes and humiliates me in
front of another one of his friends.
This time it’s none other than Quentin Burns. He’s cursed me out, called me a bitch, told
me to leave . . . the list goes on and on.
This time it all started because I asked for a little clarification on
what he was talking about because he was making no kind of sense, and he just
went off. I notice that this is a
running theme. Whenever he’s in the
company of one of his friends, it’s like he has to put on a stunt and a show—a
Broadway musical if you will and nobody paid for a ticket. He just goes off on me and devotes a full
hour of talking about me to his friends.
He claims that I don’t do anything for him (including sex), that I
always start an argument, and that I’m spoiled, lazy, and I don’t help him out
with anything—all of which are total lies.
I will admit that I’m not the easiest to get along with only because I
spend ample time thinking things through and not wasting time unlike Richard. You already know that Richard is dumb as a
door knob and thinking is not in his repertoire so he makes some of the most
stupid decisions. And when you call him
out on them, he wants to fuss at you. In
the words of Richard, I’m tired and
I’m through. No more of this bull shit. I need to start making plans that no longer
include his dumbass. 
TEMPTATION. . . . . Daniel 1:8 It is easier to resist
temptation if you have thought through you convictions well before the
temptation arises. Daniel and his
friends made their decision to be faithful to the laws of their religion before
they were face with the king’s delicacies, so they did not hesitate to stick
with their convictions. Sometimes we get
into trouble because we have not previously decided where to draw the
line. Before such situations arise,
decide on you commitments. Then, when
temptation comes, you will be ready. 
