Monday, February 28, 2011

who's hitting on keith AT THE JHR SHELTER?

I just thought I would mention this because it's kind of hilarious, if you ask me.  Others might find it creapy.

Alright, where do I begin?  Yesturday evening, I went to go use the restroom like I normally do.  One of restrooms is equipped with two urinals, mouted side-by-side on the wall.  So, I walk on over to one and begin to handle my business.  Well, this older guy in a gray hoodie walks over to the other urinal and begins to do his thing.  I would say that the guy was in his late thirties, maybe early forties.  While I'm handling my business, the guy takes several peeps at me while excessively shaking his penis.  Out of the corner of my eye, I could tell that his penis was getting erect.  So, I quickly finish and dodge out of the bathroom.

Now, yesturday, I didn't think much of the situation because I figured that maybe he wasn't trying to proposition me for sex, much like countless others in this shelter.  Maybe he was just excessively shaking his penis to make sure he was drained of all of his fluids.  He is kind of old.  Well, I wasn't sure until today, when the guy did the same thing again.  However, this time he made it even more obvious by turning and staring at me.  And again, I ignored him.  Of course, it's proper restroom etiquette not to look over at the other man while using the urinals.  So, I continued to handle my business and I made it seem as though, I didn't even notice him.  By the way, he has a really big dick, not that I'm at all interested.

Anyways, I'm pretty sure he'll do it again.  And again, I'm going to ignore him.  I'm going to see just how bold and upfront he'll be about his sexual proposition.  I'm sure he's on the DOWNLOW like most of the guys in here and I guess he expects me to be impressed by the size of his prize.  Well, that's one prize not worth having.  And let me tell you all something.  If I wanted dick., I would have one in my ass, another in my mouth, with another in the wings waiting to get a taste of this.  Trust me.  I have no problems in that department, not being cocky or anything.  Just another interesting story LIVE from the JHR shelter. 

Also, something else I thought I should mention.  Today makes exactly one month that I have been living at the shelter.  Can you believe it?  For some reason, I get the feeling that I'll be here for another two to three months.  In fact, I don't see any signs of me getting out of here until school starts in late August.  Well, I guess I should look on the brightside.  I have FOODSTAMPS, a free CELLPHONE PLAN, and SHELTER.  So, I won't complain.  Although, I will say that I now know how it feels to be in jail.  I'm just saying.  I think I can totally relate.

what's keith LISTENING TO?

There's something about this place, something about it,
There's something about this shape, color surrounds it,
Enter unknown, watch them unfold,
It's so uplifting, It's so uplifting.

Uplifting by Tiffany Evans

Sunday, February 27, 2011

is keith BLUSHING?

I want to start this post by saying that I am not a huge fan of blushers.  Sometimes foundation can totally make me look washed out which is why I only apply blush to bring a little life back into my face.  I tend to apply very little, making it hardly noticeable which is why Coy, one of e.l.f. Essentials Natural Radiance Blusher's, is one of my favorite blushes.

As you can see, Coy gives a beautiful golden sheen.  I use Coy when I want to make my cheekbones stand out but I don't want to add any color to my cheeks.  I tend to apply it on the top of my cheekbones more so as a highlight using e.l.f.'s Studio Blush brush or e.l.f.'s Essentials Blushing, Bronzing & Blending brush.  I'll even place it right on the brow bone as a highlight.

Now while I am in love with Coy, I really wouldn't recommend e.l.f. Essentials Natural Radiance Blusher's to anyone.  They are not very pigmented at all and they come off extremely ashy on darker skin tones.  That was the case with both Glow and Innocence, which is why I tossed them a minute ago.  However, I held onto Flushed.  It's not bad at all.  It's a light red and also gives a nice glow or sheen.  Although, to be honest, I don't really reach for it because I prefer more of a pink or peachy blusher.  If you're wondering, the glow comes from fine glitter particles that shimmer and really do catch the light.  Don't worry, the glitter is hardly noticeable.  Both Coy and Flushed  last all day as well.  In conclusion, Coy is must-have if you're looking for no color but a great golden sheen however you can pass on all of the other shades in the same line.  Trust me, keep your dollar. You can find alot better.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

who stood keith UP?

Today, Kenny was supposed to take me out for an early lunch.  It is now 02:28 PM and he has yet to contact me.  I mean, if he had a change of plans, he could have at the least sent a quick text.  But I'm not tripping.  In fact, when I spoke to him a week ago, he actually forgot that he even promised to take me out in the first place.  I'm just a little disappointed because I was looking forward to it.  Yet, I kind of knew that he would forget anyhow.  For this past month, it seems like any promises made to me came short of success, and this one is no exception.

Wait a second.  I interrupt this post to tell you that Kenny just called.  02:36 PM.  He claims that he was called in to work and that he sort of forgot.  Didn't I say that?  He says that between school, work, and a child, he's pretty busy which is totally understandable.  Again, like I said, I'm not tripping.  I'm just disappointed.  But what's new?

what's keith CONCEALING?

What would I do without this concealer?   I really don't know because it has become such a staple in my beauty regime.  As you can tell I own both the Spice and Toffee.  I tend to use Spice under and around my eyes while I use Toffee to conceal any redness or blemishes on my face.  Toffee is a little too dark for my skin tone, however it always seems to blend in with my foundation flawlessly.  The consistency of the concealer is more so of a thick liquid much like gel and it blends seamlessly.  What I like to do is dab a little on my blemish using the wand, wait about a minute, and then lightly dab the concealer into my skin using my fingers.  It offers light to medium coverage and does a great job at concealing the redness that comes along with pimples.  The concealer also lasts a good 4 to 6 hours and I don't ever set it with a powder.  It also dries to a nice dewy finish.  One downside is that it easily transfers.  Setting the concealer with a powder might help with that dilemma, however I haven't tried it.  At the moment, my skin is way too dry for any kind of powder product.  The packaging is also a major plus.  The wand allows you to place the concealer right where you need it.  Okay, okay, enough of this infomercial.  I'm starting to feel like Vince Shlomi just because I am so excited about it.  Anyway, you can get it at your local Target or the EyesLipsFace website for only one dollar.

Friday, February 25, 2011

what's keith BLENDING WITH?

Honestly, there is absolutely, positively NO REASON to spend a lot of money on makeup brushes or should I say that I haven't especially since there are far cheaper alternatives-  One of them being EyesLipsFace brushes.  I have to say that I have pretty much owned every brush from the e.l.f. Essentials and Studio collection and here are my Top Five (in no particular order).  On a side note, I must also state that I have used and washed my e.l.f. brushes frequently and they are all in just about the same condition as when I purchased them.  With that being said, they are all great in quality even when compared to the price.  Now, let's get on with the show.

1. e.l.f. Essentials Blending Eye Brush, $1.  I use it to blend eyeshadow seamlessly into my crease as well as softening or blending any edges. 

2. e.l.f. Essential Defining Eye Brush, $1.  Great for placing eye shadow exactly where you want it, like the outer V, the crease, or right near the lash line.

3. e.l.f. Studio Complexion Brush, $3.  I use it to either set and apply powder all over my face or to apply blush or bronzer.

4. e.l.f. Studio Stipple Brush, $3.  I first reviewed this brush HERE and I must say that it has easily become my favorite tool for applying liquid foundation.  Great for stippling liquid foundation or even cream blush to the face.  Leaves a flawless and airbrush finish.  My favorite brush in the entire collection.

5. e.l.f. Studio Powder Brush, $3.  I use it to stipple or buff liquid or cream foundation into my skin.  Also great for applying setting powder or powdered and cream blush.

Bonus. e.l.f. Essential Travel Mirror, $1.  An additional product I love that doesn't get a lot of recognition.  When I'm out, I always have it on my person.  Fits comfortably in my pocket.  Has both a regular mirror and magnifying mirror.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

who's giving keith A RIDE?

The strangest thing happenned today.  I ran into one of my ex-boyfriends.  So, here's what transpired.

So, I'm standing on the bus stop waiting for the 40 Quickbus.  I was on my way back home to pick up a few things and I'm still at the house as I type.  The next thing I know, this girl taps me on the shoulder and points at the direction of a car waiting at the red light.  She says, "that guy wants you."  So, I look and you will not believe who it was.  It was Curtis Durham.  Excuse me.  Principal Curtis Durham.  He's now a principal at a Baltimore County elementary school.  

So, after a quick moment of looking stupid and acting like I had no idea who it was, I finally got in his car.  He had offered me a ride.  Of course, he asked why I was taking public transportation.  And of course, I came up with a lie.  OMG.  I thought I would never see him again.  Well, to be honest, I was hoping to never see him again or, at least, not until I got myself together.  It's just that ever since we lost touch, my life has done nothing but spiral downhill.  At least when I was with him, you know, my life was in some kind of order.  I was doing pretty well for myself.  And at the moment, my life is shit and he has to show up now of all times?  But I will say that it was really nice to him again.

If you're wondering, Curtis and I dated from July of 2007 until about May 2008.  In his car, we even tried to discuss the reason we had fallen out of touch.  I said it was because he was too busy and he just had too much going on in his life at the time.  He kinda disagrees.  Anyways, before we departed, I gave him my new cell phone number and I even gave him a hug.  Curtis is still the same sweet and sexy tedy bear he has always been.  He hasn't changed a bit.  In fact, he even said that I still had the same "shy" and "coy" bit going on.  I guess I haven't changed much on that front either.

So, with Curtis back in my life.  How do I open up and tell him exactly what's been going on with me.  I mean, he thinks I still drive and that I'm living back with my estranged mother.  I don't know how I'm going to break the news to him or even whether or not I will even stay in contact with him.  Who knows?  I would really like to see him again though.  I guess, I just have to suck it up and be honest.  Honesty is always the best policy, right? 

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

what's keith SINGING ALONG TO?

Days like this I want to drive away,
Pack my bags and watch your shadow fade,
Cuz you chewed me up and spit me out,
Like I was poison in your mouth,
You took my light, You drained me down,
That was then and this is now,
Now look at me.

This is the part of me,
That you're never gonna ever take away from me, [No]
Throw your sticks and your stones,
Throw your palms and your clothes,
But you're not gonna break my soul,
This is the part of me,
That you're never gonna ever take away from me. [No]

I just wanna throw my phone away,
Find out who is really there for me,
Cuz you ripped me off, Your love was cheap,
Was always tearing at the seams,
I fell deep and you let me down,
But that was then and this is now,
Now look at me.

This is the part of me,
That you're never gonna ever take away from me, [No]
Throw your sticks and your stones,
Throw your palms and your clothes,
But you're not gonna break my soul,
This is the part of me,
That you're never gonna ever take away from me. [No]

Now look at me I'm sparklin',
A fire worth your dance in pain,
You will never put me out again, I'm going, [Oh Whoa]
You can keep the dog from me,
I never liked him anyway,
In fact you can keep everything, [Yeah, Yeah]
Except for me.

This is the part of me,
That you're never gonna ever take away from me, [No]
Throw your sticks and your stones,
Throw your palms and your clothes,
But you're not gonna break my soul,
This is the part of me,
That you're never gonna ever take away from me. [No]

Part Of Me by Katy Perry

Saturday, February 19, 2011

what's keith MISSING?

You'll never guess what the fuck just happened.  So, I just finished taking a shower and I'm drying off.  When I look down, I noticed that my navel ring was missing.  And I'm like, "Wait a minute.  I just had it on two seconds ago."  So I quickly scan the shower floor to see if I could find it.  No luck.  At that moment, I'm thinking that my navel ring went down the shower drain.  Fuck, right?  I then shake my towel while continuing to dry off and lo and behold, my navel ring falls to the shower floor.  WTF? 

Why am I tripping?  It's really not that big of a deal.  It's actually nice to see my flat stomach without it.  It's just that I've had my navel piercing for three years now, so I've become emotionally attached.  Awe well.  I'll get over it.

And another thing.  Let me clarify.  It's not that the navel ring came loose.  The ring tore through my skin and I didn't even feel it.  So now, my belly button looks very weird at the moment.  I don't even want to describe how it looks.  Even though, I have been told by an ex-boyfriend that my belly button is strange looking even before I got my navel pierced.  Tuhir Smith, the ex-boyfriend in question, said that he could identify me in a line up just by looking at my belly button.  I highly disagree.  I think my belly button looks normal.  Well, not any more.  Although, technically, what is "normal looking" for a belly button.  Every one's looks a little weird and different, if you ask me.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


"Downsize" is now a new term in my mental dictionary.  What does it mean?  It means to grab all of your shit tonight when you leave the shelter or they are throwing your shit out.  So, I'm standing outside of the shelter with my life in two bags while trying to avoid "overflow".

Okay, so right in the middle of this post, I was interrupted by another homeless dude trying to holla at me.  Yes sir.  Since I've been here, I have been a prize piece.  I've been approached by nothing but old guys including staff trying to push up on yours truly.  This dude in particular is 35 years of age and from New York.  He's apparently going to seek treatment for his drug addiction in some type of program.  Man.  Sometimes, I really do feel like lying and stating that I'm addicted to crack just so that I could take advantage of some type of program that offers housing.  Lucky crackheads.

Anyway, back to what I was saying, so I have to wait outside in the cold until about 10:00 PM.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, FML.


I just finished eating the box of chocolates I had originally purchased for Kenny.  I had plans of mailing it to him just in time for Valentine's Day.  It's a heart shaped box that says, "You Rock" on the front.  All is well that ends well. 

And before I forget, Kenny finally received the Christmas gift that I sent him.  He hasn't checked his post office box in about two months.  He finally thanked me for it.  Yeah, it's about time. 

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

so how was keith's BIRTHDAY & V-DAY?

Worst birthday ever.  Worst Valentine's Day ever.  That's it in a nutshell and you already know why.  Rather than look at the bad that's going on in my life right now, I'm going to look at a few positives that took me by surprise today.  Well, the first surprise of the day was that I had recieved my Federal Tax Return.  Yeah, almost $400.  I'm surprised because I was so sure that the MVA was going to take it due to a fine that I still owe.  Well, I guess not.  Also, today I was given a compliment by an older Asian women as I was ordering a slice of peperoni pizza from Lexingtom Market.  She said that I was very "handsome".  I love compliments and contrary to popular belief, I hardly ever get them.  I think people neglect to give me props because they think it will blow my head up.  I'm sure many already think that my head is stuck in the clouds as it is but I love having my ego stroked among many other things.  Alright gotta go. 

Tuesday, February 8, 2011


But wait folks.  There's more bad news on my birthday.  Someone stole my Reach Out Wireless cell phone and charger.  I left it on the charger around 05:15 AM, I then took a nap, and when I woke up at 06:56 AM, it was gone.  I think the person who stole it had to know it was my cell phone.  I don't see any person having the guts to steal a random cell phone from the power outlet in a crowded room.  

Looks like I'm getting a new cell phone for my birthday.  That was an unexpected expense.  Thank god I have the funds.  My new Motorola Q was only $25.00 and I should be expecting it in the mail within five business days. 

Well, I made it home and I'm typing as we speak.  I've been here for almost five hours now and that bitch hasn't even stopped by the house.  I'm actually pretty shocked.  She's normally not out of the house for long.  Well I guess I'll try to take a shower and then take care of my Maryland State Taxes.


Well it's officially my day of birth.  I'm in a fuckin' homeless shelter for God's sake.  This is no way to spend you're twenty-fourth birthday.  I'm officially depressed. 

I just finished having a heated conversation with Kenny.  Guess what I also found out?  Kenny has also been talking to Lance about me.  Apparently I now look even crazier to the both of them.  I'm just so through with Kenny, but for some reason I can't let go of him.  He's actually supposed to be calling me back right about now.  I'm sure he's busy Skype-Boning.

I think I'll go home tomorrow.  I'm tired of this fuckin' shelter.  Hopefully Kenny will take me out on my birthday.  I told him to forget about it earlier today, however I think I'll take him up on his offer.  I could use a night out right about now.  But who knows?  Our phone conversation was not on the best of terms.  I'm guilty of calling him several names as usual like attempted murderer, dumb ass  and devil worshiper.  I get that he's only trying to help.  I've kind of cooled off now that I've gotten all of my questions and aggressions out of the way.  However, I still have several questions for him that have yet to remain unanswered.  He's got a lot of explaining to do.  The issue is Kenny couldn't communicate effectively if his life was on the line.  I see why he's an ex-marine.  You know what it stands for.  Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Essential.  So there's no surprise there. 

Anyways, I should be trying to get some shut-eye right about now.  I have to be up at 05:00 AM sharp.

Oh and before I forget, Kenny now knows about my blog.  For the most part, I told him that I've pretty much exposed him, however I refused to give him the URL.  Although I'm sure he'll find out sooner than later. 

Monday, February 7, 2011

is keith's LIPGLOSS POPPIN'?

I have been a huge fan of EyesLipsFace's Essential Super Glossy Lip Shine for over a year and a half now.  In fact, it was one of my first lip glosses ever.  According the the website, "this Super Glossy formula leaves your lips with a healthy glossy glow. The delicious flavor and sweet scent will leave you licking your lips in delight! The perfect on the go tube that is mess proof for anywhere and anytime!" 

So, what's the verdict?  Now, there is no flavor to this lip gloss however it does have a sweet and fruity scent much like candy.  The consistency of the gloss is pretty thick and kind of sticky and like most thick and sticky lip glosses, it lasts for hours.  No surprise there.  What I am really impressed with is the pigmentation especially considering the price point of one dollar.  The pigmentation is also pretty true to color.  Now, for my deep skin tone, the colors do not seem to show up as pigmented on my lips as compared to my arm, however, the gloss compliments similar lipstick shades perfectly.  I tend to reach for this lip gloss every morning especially considering the fact that it carries a Sun Protection Factor of 15.  Also the convenient tube is also a major plus and great for quick touch ups. 

So, what's my favorite?  Out of the four shades that I own, Iced Latte, hands down.  Iced Latte compliments my skin tone perfectly and is packed with a lot of glitter.  More so than even Candlelight or Watermelon.  Malt Shake, however, has no shimmer.  And before I forget, I bought them at my local Target. 

what's keith UPSET ABOUT?

I am so pissed off right now.  Let me try to maintain my composure while I try to fill you in.  Earlier today, I got a text from Kenny.  It simply said, "Call me".  I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised.  So after I got something to eat from Lexington Market, I came back to the shelter and gave Kenny a call.  Well, boy did I get a fuckin' surprise.  It turns out that that bitch gave Kenny a message to give me.  She said something to the effect that she left some important mail outside for me.  But wait.  Here's the kicker.  She's been talking to Kenny the whole time I've been in the shelter.  I mean Kenny even knew that I was in the shelter when I called him on his birthday.  That bitch has even told Kenny all about our prior squabbles going back several weeks which have long been buried. 

My whole ordeal is that she's only telling Kenny all of this stuff to make me look bad.  Telling Kenny any of this mess doesn't help anything and Kenny doesn't see it.  He's blinded by her lies.  He says it helps by giving him some clue as to my mindset.  That is straight up bullshit.  Kenny already know my mindset.  I'm pretty sure nothing that that bitch told Kenny surprised him even the least. 

I'm done with the both of them.  I don't want anything to do with that bitch or anyone who associates with her.  I'm sick of being looked at as the crazy person in every single incidence.  Wayne doesn't see it.  Kenny doesn't see it.  And my grandmother doesn't see it. 

Speaking of my grandmother, let's get on this bitch for a minute.  There's no way in hell, I would ever have a daughter who does or says some of the shit that that bitch does and not tell her that she is wrong.  I'm quite sure my bitch-ass grandmother just listens to her antics and goes right along with her.  The problem is that my grandmother doesn't reprimand that bitch.  By not putting that bitch in her place, my grandmother is just as wrong as that bitch is.  And that's the main reason why I don't speak with my grandmother as it is.  Like I said before.  I don't want anything to do with that bitch or anyone who associates with her.  

So, it looks like I'll be spending my twenty-fourth birthday at the homeless shelter.  My clothes smell awful and I'll just have to live with it for now.  I won't be going by the house any time soon.  To be honest, I sort of get that Kenny is only trying to help but I'm tired of the deception.  He always keeps important information from me like his positive HIV status or this whole ordeal.  

I'm just officially done with everyone.  I wish everybody would just leave me the fuck alone.  And to make matters worse, I'm sure Kenny has told everyone about this including his aunt Gloria Owens and his two cousins.  My life seems to be so amusing to their poverty stricken household.  Well, they won't have to worry about me.  They'll never see me another day in their life.  I'll make sure of it. 

Sunday, February 6, 2011



Guess what?  I'm watching the XLV Superbowl.  I said that I would go by the house today, but I changed my mind.  I'll stop by tomorrow.  I have to get up out of here.  I can't spend my birthday at a homeless shelter.  Anyways, the staff here will be calling "overflow" soon and I'll be out in the cold yet again.  Only this time, fuck McD's.  The bitch that took my order last night gave me fever.  She gave me too much attitude.  Luckily, I didn't go off on her.  Instead, I'll stop by 7Eleven.  Hopefully, they're still open.  Or maybe I will stop by a different McDonald's location.  I don't know.  These are my dilemmas these days.  Where should I go to kill time?  FML.  Yeah, I really fucked it up.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

why is keith LAUGHING OUT LOUD?

what's keith DOING?

So in an attempt to avoid "overflow" again today, I'm sitting on a bus stop as I type.  My poor fingers are freezing.  The pain I endure for my blog.  My pain is your pleasure, right?  My life is your entertainment. 

Hopefully, I'll touch bases with home tomorrow.  I'm sure that bitch will be in a good mood considering it will be Sunday.  The only reason I didn't go home today was on account of the rain.  I hope it doesn't rain tomorrow or better yet on my way back to the shelter tonight.  In a few minutes, I'm going to stop by the infamous McD's and grab some cookies for a late night snack. 

I honestly don't know how long I can live like this.  I'm tired of being couped up with these crazy people.  It's almost like being stuck in a college dormitory all day only with crazy and smelly ass people.  Today, I even think I overheard a couple of the younger guys talking about me.  If I'm not mistaken, one guy called me a "faggie" and the other said that "all I do is stay on my phone" which is true.  That's all I've done this past week.  One old guy named Charlie claims that I'm depressed.  I instantly disagreed with him, however I'm beginning to side with him the more I sit and rot away.  I'm losing hope and I'm afraid of asking anyone for help.  Enough typing for now... Off to McDonald's I go.

Friday, February 4, 2011

what's keith DOING?

I'm in McDonald's eating a double cheese burger and enjoying a sweet tea trying to kill time.  Why?  Well, I don't want to be in the "overflow" category tonight, so I left only to go back in about an hour.  You see they try to fill up the University of Maryland gymnasium first with at least one hundred fifty people before opening up the shelter for all of the late night stragglers.  Yeah, what a life?

I've been doing a lot of thinking and I've decided to ask that bitch if I could reside at one of her vacant rental properties.  To be honest, she probably would've let me do that all along.  I don't know why I'm waisting space at this shelter.  She may even let me use hooptie to get around.  I know, I know.  That might be pushing it.  But what are sons for?  Anyway, I just have to work up the nerve to ask her.  I'm not as angry at her much like a week ago.  I really contemplated killing her.  Although, it wouldn't be the first time and I'm sure it won't be the last.  I just need to "muster every ounce of confidence that I have... A canon ball into the water" and kiss her ass.  I'm pretty sure I can do that.

On a new note, I must say that I am constipated and I refuse to take a shit in the bathroom of this shelter.  Those animals are dirty, filthy, and nasty.  I'd probably catch something on the toilet seat.  No joke and I don't have health insurance.  Good thing there is an organization called Health Care for the Homeless.  For the past week, I've been doing the doo in the shower and I've only taken two showers since I've been here.  It took nearly a half an hour to pull the rocks out of my ass when I took a shower yesterday.  TMI.  Yeah, yeah.  This is my blog, remember?  Okay, time to wrap up.  They're kicking me out of the McDonald's.  TTYL.

Thursday, February 3, 2011


I just finished talking to Kenny and I'm just going to cut to the chase.  I asked Kenny what he did today and as expected, he was up to the usual.  However, he mentioned that he talked to a friend of his that he really likes.  And I mean LIKES.  When he told me that, I almost died.  I just wanted to hang up the phone and cry my eyes out.  I didn't ask him to elaborate on his friend at all.  I just kept silent.  He's doing okay by the way.  He was just sitting up waiting for the new episode of Jersey Shore.  I don't like that show, by the way.  Anyways, I didn't bother informing him that I'm now staying at a homeless shelter.  At one point, he asked, "what's all that noise in the background?" and I sort of lied and told him that it was the TV.  Well, technically it's not a lie because the TV here is adding to all of the noise in the room. 

Speaking of the room, I've neglected to describe the shelter.  And yes, JHR stands for Jobs Homeless Recovery.  Now that we've gotten that out of the way, the building of the shelter is your standard office building with an attached parking garage.  The women occupy the fourth floor which is also the floor of the kitchen and the men occupy the fifth floor.  The room for the men is your standard open floor office with cemented floors.  You can tell that the floors used to be carpeted and I'm guessing that office cubicles used to occupy the space I'm currently residing in.

Okay.  Enough of the floor plan.  I talked with Regina Santiful today.  She's actually the Case Manager here at the shelter.  Unfortunately, she didn't have too many options for me which I had anticipated.  Pretty much the only thing she could offer was to ship me off to Florida.  She says that a Travel Aid program would pick up the expense and pay for the one-way ticket.  The only issue is asking my grandmother if I could stay with her.  Oh my God.  I'm so afraid to ask her.  I'm just so ashamed because I've neglected her.  (Deep breath.)  I just need to suck it up, put my pride to the side, and just ask her.  I'm pretty sure she would say yes.  Man, I just don't want to live in country-ass Mulberry, Florida.

In closing, let's get back to Kenny.  He told me to call him tomorrow and I won't.  Nothing has changed on my part and I've dug an even deeper hole for myself.  I'm tired of disappointing him and as you can clearly see, I'm still in love with him.  Hopefully, his new friend that he LIKES is everything he deserves.  I really do wish Kenny only the best.  Through it all, I'm sure he deserves it. 

why is keith LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF?

Let me start of by saying that this video is funny as hell.  Her impersonation of Monique is spot on.  Enjoy.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

what's keith DOING?

I'm laying on a filthy mat on the gymnasium floor of the University of Maryland and I can't sleep, so I thought I would do some writing.  I'm just thinking out loud.  I still have no idea what I'm going to do.  I still don't know all of my options, so I haven't come to a decision.

On to other news.  Tomorrow is Kenny's birthday.  I'll give him a call early tomorrow morning.  Hopefully, I'll get his voicemail and I could leave him a quick message.  I think that will be the last time that I ever attempt to contact him.  I'm just ready to move on.  I don't want any memories of the past.  I'm pretty sure that he's not even thinking of me while I obsess over him daily.  I guess I'll die of AIDS alone.  I hope he's having fun infecting other young attractive men.  I still haven't gotten over that whole ordeal but you know what?  I can't blame anyone but myself.  I made the bed of nails that I'm laying in.  I am the cause of all of my circumstances.  I realize that no one else is at fault yet I will admit that I'm still very bitter and angry. 

what's keith SMIRKING AT?

what's keith DOING?

Today marks day six at the homeless shelter.  Yay!  I think there might be some help.  I just need to talk to Regina.  She seems very adamant about helping me and putting me in some kind of program.  I hope there's something out there for me.  I'm a little apprehensive because I'm afraid she'll say that she can't help me.  Well nothing beats a try and anything is better than sitting on my ass all day.

As for today, I went to Lexington Market for the first time in about five years.  And to my surprise, everything is the same.  Nothing has changed at all.  I got a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich and a Coke.  Delicioso fo' sho'.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

what's keith LISTENING TO?

"Cause the lying and the crying you know that I'm all that,
I ain't tryna go back to when it was all whack,
Boy when you had me you ain't know how to act,
Now when you call my phone I don't even call back...
My love was so good."

So Good by Keri Hilson

what's keith DOING?

It is now day five at the JHR shelter.  I think I found out what the J-H-R stands for.  Jobs Homeless Recovery, if I'm not mistaken.  I'll double check a little later.  For the first time since I've been here, I have branched outside of the shelter.  I only went to McDonald's and 7Eleven.  I just wanted some chicken nuggets and a Pepsi.  The sad thing is that there's a rule here that restricts any outside food or drink inside of the shelter.  I know.  What kind of rule is that?  At a homeless shelter of all places.  I tried to sneak my food in anyway and unfortunately, I got caught.  The staff frisks you whenever you enter the building.  Once I was caught, the guy told me to go outside.  He was nice about it.  Unfortunately, I quickly ate my food next to a dumpster in the alley.  How low can you go?  I still managed to sneak my Pepsi and an apple pie inside.

This really sucks.  I have no idea how long I can live like this yet I'm thankful all the more.  Once I get myself back together, I am definitely donating some money and time to this shelter.  Without it, I don't know what I would do or where I would be.  It's cold as a bitch outside.

Tomorrow, I'm going to try to go back home and grab a few things.  I hope that bitch hasn't altered the alarm code.  If she did, I'll be SOL.  To be continued...
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