WORK. . . . . Amos 1:1 All day long Amos took care of sheep—not a particularly “spiritual” job—yet he became a channel of God’s message to others. Your job may not cause you to feel spiritual or successful, but it is a vital work if you are in the place God wants you to be. God can work through you to do extraordinary things, no matter how ordinary your occupation.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
NEVER FAILING. . . . . Hosea 14:4 When our will is weak, when our reason is confused, when our conscience is burdened with a load of guilt, we must remember that God promises forgiveness and boundless love. When friends and family desert us or don’t understand us, when we are tired of being good, God’s love knows no bounds. When we can’t see the way or hear God’s voice, when we lack courage to go on, when our shortcomings or an awareness of our sins overwhelms us, God’s love knows no bounds. Regardless of how things seem or even how you feel, rely on this truth: God’s love knows no bounds.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Monday, November 26, 2012
GUESS WHO? . . . . . Hosea 8:12 It is easy to listen to a sermon and think of all the people we know who should be listening, or to read the Bible and think of those who should do what the passage teaches. The Israelites did this constantly, applying God’s laws to others but not to themselves. This is just another way to deflect God’s Word and avoid making needed changes. As you think of others who need to apply what you are hearing or reading, check to see if the same application could fit you. And keep in mind that often our own faults are the very ones we see in others.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
My Thanksgiving went much better than I had ever anticipated. Around 09:20 AM that Thursday morning, I went to a job interview at the McDonald’s located on 2840 Greenmount Ave. The interview went pretty well and thankfully I got the job and I start next week. Afterwards I came back home and wished some family and friends including Teon a Happy Thanksgiving. Then I went to my mother’s house around 02 PM for some of her homemade cooking. Kenneth, my brother, is in town for the holiday and our family had our first Thanksgiving meal with two new additions to the table—Michael and Jamal, my mother’s foster kids. After dinner, we had a good time reliving past events. We talked for hours about Michael and his inadequacies, to drugs, alcohol, and even gambling and I enjoyed every minute of it. I didn’t leave the house—with my own sweet potato pie and food in tow—until about 09:00 PM much later than I had anticipated.
Before I go, I just have to say how proud I am of my brother. He’s living on his own in Atlanta, GA, so far from home, and doing well. He’s already on his third car and has disposable income to blow on stupid stuff (like cars, Mac Books, iPads)—he reminds me so much of myself at his age, 22. Although I didn’t nearly have as much confidence and swag as he has. He’s always been the brave one having several friends. He just fits in so easily unlike me. I’ve always been the quiet and antisocial one. I’m much more like my father, although I don’t think my dad was that quite of an introvert. Kenneth is living life to the fullest, getting high on drugs and life and I wish I was that free-spirited. I’m too much of a control freak. Even though I’m the older brother, I have always looked up to Kenneth and I still do. I’m so happy that he’s doing so well and I pray that he doesn’t fall from grace much like I have, although I doubt he ever will. Too many people are on his side.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Once again, Richard goes and humiliates me in front of another one of his friends. This time it’s none other than Quentin Burns. He’s cursed me out, called me a bitch, told me to leave . . . the list goes on and on. This time it all started because I asked for a little clarification on what he was talking about because he was making no kind of sense, and he just went off. I notice that this is a running theme. Whenever he’s in the company of one of his friends, it’s like he has to put on a stunt and a show—a Broadway musical if you will and nobody paid for a ticket. He just goes off on me and devotes a full hour of talking about me to his friends. He claims that I don’t do anything for him (including sex), that I always start an argument, and that I’m spoiled, lazy, and I don’t help him out with anything—all of which are total lies. I will admit that I’m not the easiest to get along with only because I spend ample time thinking things through and not wasting time unlike Richard. You already know that Richard is dumb as a door knob and thinking is not in his repertoire so he makes some of the most stupid decisions. And when you call him out on them, he wants to fuss at you. In the words of Richard, I’m tired and I’m through. No more of this bull shit. I need to start making plans that no longer include his dumbass.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Thursday, November 22, 2012
HARD TO FORGIVE. . . . . Daniel 4:19 When Daniel understood Nebuchadnezzar’s dream, he was stunned. How could he be so deeply grieved at the fate of Nebuchadnezzar—the king who was responsible for the destruction of his home and nation? Daniel had forgiven the king, and so God was able to use Daniel. Often when we have been wronged by someone, we find it difficult to forget the past. We may even be glad if that person suffers. Forgiving people means putting the past behind us. Can you love someone who has hurt you? Ask God to help you forgive, forget, and love. God may use you in an extraordinary way in that person’s life!
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Monday, November 19, 2012
TEMPTATION. . . . . Daniel 1:8 It is easier to resist temptation if you have thought through you convictions well before the temptation arises. Daniel and his friends made their decision to be faithful to the laws of their religion before they were face with the king’s delicacies, so they did not hesitate to stick with their convictions. Sometimes we get into trouble because we have not previously decided where to draw the line. Before such situations arise, decide on you commitments. Then, when temptation comes, you will be ready.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Saturday, November 17, 2012
There’s this homeless young man—23 years of age and one of the nicest guys I have ever met—who is friends with Richard named Quentin. He’s been coming by the apartment pretty sporadically for about four months looking for Richard, who always seems to be away when he stops by. He rings the doorbell, asks if Richard is home, I say no and then he asks me for some money or food, clothes or to use my phone. I happily oblige only because he just has the most humble personality I think I have ever seen in a person. He told me a little about himself yesterday—about how he’s been homeless off and on for quite some time, hustling and grinding, trying to make a come-up. He’s planning on attending Baltimore City Community College or Job Corps soon and he’s working on a mix tape. And it’s not like he wants a pity party. He’s been sleeping in the laundry room downstairs and doesn’t want me to tell Richard because he doesn’t want him to worry.
Well, here’s where things get a little kinky. I seem to get a hard-on whenever he comes around. He’s quite easy on the eyes and he’s very much a conversationalist. He’s quite charming and very polite and I seem to go for guys like that. He told me that he wants kids of his own and how he was taking very good care of his brother’s kids for a while and I can tell he would be an awesome dad. Other than his mental disability—schizophrenia—I really can’t seem to dictate a flaw, although I’m pretty sure there’s more to the picture than he’s letting on. He has somehow contributed to his unfortunate circumstances—I’m just guessing—but I’ve spent many nights praying for him. Quentin always tells me that the God will bless me but he just doesn’t know how much of a blessing he’s been to me.
To cut to the chase, I made a pass at him last night while he was sleeping on the couch. I can’t believe I even had the guts to do so. That has got to be the first time I’ve ever done so. (Well I made a pass at him back in September but it was way too subtle for him to even notice.) While he was in his deep sleep, I put my lips up to his. He didn’t respond right away. It took him a few seconds to come to and he turned me down. “I don’t want to get shot.” “It’s alright,” I said. He said, “Naw, I know the people Richard hangs around.” At that point I grabbed his crotch and said, “Are you sure?” “Yeah.” He at least gave me a kiss and he told me that this would stay between us two.
Wow! Am I that horny? I think so and I’m pretty unhappy with my current circumstances. I really don’t want to be with Richard anymore and we are currently in a rush trying to find an apartment. It seems like we’ll never find anyplace better or even equal to where we are living now. It’s just a mess because he lives paycheck to paycheck with no savings and we really can’t even afford to move. The only reason why he even has a security deposit is because he’s skipping out on November’s rent. I really can’t tell you where his money goes but it’s really none of my business. He’s been providing for me full time since February and he doesn’t even expect me to help with the payment on a new apartment. In all, I can’t really complain.
Well, if you think about I really can. We fuss and fight like cats and dogs and it’s becoming a daily occurrence. And it’s all because he won’t listen—and because he’s dumb as all hell. I swear if I had it, I would leave him in the dust. However, it’s that kind of thinking that is not helping the relationship one bit. Teon called me again last night. I didn’t answer so he sent a text message my way. The only thing is I have no clue what the text message entailed only because I only receive the first letter of any texts I receive on my main cell phone. What kind of shit is that? Reachout Wireless says that I need a new cell phone but I don’t see how that would help much. Too bad I can’t afford one at the moment. I’m praying that I get approved for cash assistance under the Temporary Disability Assistance Program. I’m also begging Jesus for a new job. Yet I know that all things come in due time. Jesus always seems to surprise me with a blessing especially when my funds are low, so I’m really counting on it real soon. I know that he will never leave me or forsake me.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
I swear you can’t one simple conversation with Richard without him fussing and yelling. His dumb-ass never tells the whole story or he gives you some rambled up version and when you question him, he gets irate and raises his voice. And as a result, I raise my voice and that’s when things go south. Sometimes, I don’t know whether I’m talking to a 38 year old or an eight year old. He and I are not compatible at all. He is as dumb as box of rocks and at times I wish I could tell him to go kick rocks but I’m dependant on him. At the moment, I’m still waiting on the Lord to bless me with a J-O-B. Richard’s manager was supposed to be calling me but it doesn’t seem like he’s ever going to get around to it. On top of all this mess, Richard has to move out in less than a month. Today I went with him to Baltimore District Court and he agreed to vacate the apartment by December 15, 2012. Since his name is not on the lease and his mother is now living at a nursing home, Kensington Gates no longer wants him living there. Plus it doesn’t look like his credit is good enough to get another apartment. One apartment complex already denied his application. John and Sade moved out without warning but we still have to deal with Richard’s nephew, Ricky. And to make matters worse, we haven't had cable television in over two weeks now. Through all of this, I’m still blessed and I shall put all of this in God's hands.
POLLUTION. . . . . Ezekiel 20:30 Water containing comtaminants is polluted. Likewise, our life is polluted when we accept the contaminants--immoral values--of this world. If we love money, we become greedy. If we lust, we become sexually immoral. Remaining pure in a polluted world is difficult, to say the least. But a heart filled with God's Holy Spirit leaves little room for pollution (see Titus 1:15-16).
Monday, November 12, 2012
Here's a cheap product with a fairly decent payoff. It has a fair amount of white pigment that produces a highlighting effect on my dark skin, so I use quite a light hand and it creates a nice and dewey hue of color.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
NO FAIR. . . . . Ezekiel 18:25 A typical childish response to punishment is to say, "That's not fair!" In reality, God is fair, but we have broken the rules. It is not God who must live up to our ideas of fairness; instead, we must live up to his. Don't spend your time looking for the loopholes in God's law; decide instead to work toward living up to God's standards.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Monday, November 5, 2012
Much like Oskar Schell, I have come to the realization that I too have spent most of my life searching for something. Not a lock fit for a key but ultimately for happiness, acceptance. . . love. I'm quite sure that I haven't found it just yet, however like Oskar I won't give up until I find the answers.