Saturday, July 30, 2011

who just pulled keith TO THE SIDE?

02:23 PM
Two other people made comments on my make-up today.  I overheard one of the staff members say that it looked like I was wearing a mask or at least that's what I think she said.  I barely heard her as I was walking towards the men's bathroom.  Another guy also said that my make-up was running.  It really wasn't.  He was just trying to be funny.  Nobody else got the joke.

I'm at JHR and I'm walking from the bathroom to the men's day room and one of the staff members pulls me to the side.  Now the staff member is a pretty nice old lady nice and she proceeds to tell me that my foundation is a smidgen off.  Uh Oh.  Really?  I kinda figured that after using a little too much of my setting powder this morning.  According to her I need to "tone it down a little bit".  She says she pulled me to the side because she didn't want to say that too me out loud in the lobby.  So I thanked her.  Wow. My tea was clocked by a senior citizen.  I just had to share.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

who wants to be keith's BOYFRIEND?

His name is Jason Scott.  He hit on me today after sleeping in the bunk next to me last night.  He wants me to be his boyfriend.  Jason is my 27 and is about my height yet slightly leaner than I.  He's not usually my type but for some reason, I can't get him off my mind.  Probably because I'm so lonely.  Anyways, I really want to get to know him and not on an intimate level.  At least not anytime soon.  Although he has asked me if he could suck my dick.  I declined his offer yet I insisted that he show me his hard-on and I was thoroughly impressed.  He's pretty well endowed.  He's definitely bigger than I.  He's also very touchy-feely, giving me excessive hugs and kisses and feeling on my booty.  I will admit that I kind of like that though.  I miss being held and just loved on.  Through it all, I hope that we can become friends.  Just maybe.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

how long has keith BEEN LIVING AT THE JHR SHELTER?

Front of the Harry and Jeanette Weinberg Housing & Resource Center


I used to not understand how one could reside at a homeless shelter for a year... two years... three years, but now I get it.  It takes time to get yourself together and time goes by fast.  I never thought I would be here this long and I have no idea when I'll finally leave for good.  I'm so tired of this lifestyle yet I keep my head up everyday.  Reading my bible doesn't seem to help either, although I still continue to read and I still continue to pray.  But is the Lord really listening?  I just don't know anymore.  I'm losing hope.  Well, I've said that many times before because nothing has changed.  My life sinks lower as time goes by.  FML.  Plus, to make matters worse, I really miss Teon. 
But I gotta drink that lonely straight cause he's No Chaser

Tuesday, July 26, 2011


******FIRE ALARM******

Apparently a guy was smoking in the men's floor bathroom and triggered the fire alarm.  So, everyone has to clear the building. 


Glenda is so temperamental.  She always has been and that is one of the reasons why she will remain single until she is six feet under.  Case in point.  Today, she asked me to vacuum out the windows on the first floor.  She didn't specify which windows, but I assumed she meant the two front windows in the dining room.  Well, she meant those plus the side dining room window as well as the living room window.  My mistake.  I apologized and told her that I'll do the other windows the next time I'm there.  Here's her response...

"Never mind n u didn't do side diningrm window.  U know I'm tired n pissed.  U can wash somewhere else.  Told u how selfish u r.  U come and lay those stink add clothes out, use my computer, detergent and can't ask if I need anything else done.  Well i'l go my self , your code is out of my system.  Don't come back."  (06:49 PM)

Yeah she went off.  And that's not the first time this week.  She went off on me when I requested to visit home after I discovered my bag stolen.  And don't let me answer her text messages right away.  I'm tired of dealing with her attitude but I have no choice.  I need her even though I wish I didn't.  I wish I had your standard loving and supportive "Made for TV" moms yet my mother is a woman scorned.  I can't wait to be independent once again.  I don't know when that'll happen but I'll continue to pray on it.

Another thing I forgot to mention is that I now have health insurance, Primary Adult Care (PAC).  I got the packet in the mail today.  I have yet to read through it. 

who stole keith's BAG?

Yeah.  My worst nightmare has come to fruition.  Someone stole my bag yesterday.  Here's a picture of the bush that I hid my bag behind before my daily trip to the library and to get something to eat. 

I know what you're going to say.  By hiding my bag outside, it's only a matter of time before someone takes it.  Well, I don't want to drag my bag around everywhere I go and you know I have to take my bag with me whenever I leave the shelter. 

Now to make a long story short, I recovered my bag this morning.  I had already made plans to go home and on my way to the bus stop something told me to take a walk around City Hall, since that's where the homeless pretty much hang out.  Once I did, sure nuff, a guy had my bag.  Luckily, I didn't have to kick his ass and even if I had to I probably would have given him a pass because I really thought my bag was gone forever.  Also to my surprise, just about everything of mine was recovered except for my body wash, necklace, belt, sports bag, a few cotton rounds and swabs, and three bracelets. 

Earlier, I pondered whether my Lord was truly looking out for me and I think I've finally answered my question.  He is right beside me even through all this shit I must now go through.  Thank you Jesus for everything.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

what's keith LISTENING TO?

"Now I know that I need you.  Only hope is just to see you.
Scream your name through the silence.  See your face in the distance.
Cause I'm crawling and falling,
Whatever I must do to make it back with you."

Make It Back by Lesley Roy

why is keith IN SHOCK?

Wow.  Amy Winehouse dies at the age of 27.  What a shock?  I mean we knew she was headed down that road but who knew that the inevitable would happen.  She was so young and so talented.  I've never been a huge fan of hers but my first boyfriend, Tuhir Smith, was.  I remember listening to Back To Black while rinding shotgun in his car.

Amy Winehouse

"Stronger Than Me" by Amy Winehouse

Saturday, July 23, 2011

what's keith LISTENING TO?

"I know I made mistakes but you think that I should pay
for what I did yesterday.  But let's live just for today.
If this world came crashing down,
Would you still hold this burden over my head.
I wish that I could say 'I'm sorry' and you believed in what I said.
I wish that we could fill this room with love instead of regret.
But there's no space for me to prove, if you won't choose to forget.
Let love in...
Can we love again?  Can we trust again?"

Let Love In by Dawn Richard

Thursday, July 21, 2011


Today was hot as hell.  Apparently there's a major heat wave striking a huge portion of the nation.  Global warming is a bitch.  It was already hot as hell early this morning while on my commute home.  You can only imagine the hell I went through this afternoon on my commute back to JHR.  I was sweating bullets.  And then once I got here, I had to wait outside in line for bout an hour.  I was so afraid that JHR was at capacity considering on account of the heat.  Fortunately, I was one of the last group of 13 guys allowed in the shelter.  On days like this I really miss Lisa.  In fact, I miss my old life.  Too bad I can't rewind time.  If I only had one wish.

what's keith LISTENING TO?

"Like a photo, like a second thought,
Always silent, I just think alot.
I still wonder am I still stuck in your head."
Chasing Echoes by Katelyn Tarver

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

what's keith LISTENING TO?

"I wish on a star and look to the heavens,
You got my heart.  Won't nothing take my love away.
When I'm where you are it feels like heaven,
You got my heart.  I'll never take my love away."

Set Me Free  by Diddy Dirty Money

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

what's keith LISTENING TO?

"[Teon,] I never meant to hurt you with this shit [but really I did.] 
I can't blame you for not looking in my eyes. 
But if you lay here right beside me,
And let me hold you and maybe you'll see.
I just wanna love you more than you can hate me,
And if you say you hate me that's how much you need me.
I'm begging you don't you leave.  I'm begging you don't you go.
You got my heart.  I know I fucked up.  Baby, I need you."

I Know by Dawn Richard featuring Kalenna

Monday, July 18, 2011

what's keith LISTENING TO?

"I'm just misunderstood.  Try to make you love me anyway I could.
Maybe one day you will see that there's so much more to me.
I'm just misunderstood.  Do the opposite of what you think I should.
So there's nothing else to do but live misunderstood."  

Misunderstood by Tynisha Keli

Friday, July 15, 2011

what's keith NOT WATCHING?

Really though.  Final Destination 5 is slated to hit movie theatres on August 12th.  I thought The Final Destination, the fourth movie from the franchise, was supposed to be the last one.  I guess not.  By the way, The Final Destination had to be one of the worst movies of 2009 and was a major disappointment when compared to its predecessors.  I remember going to see The Final Destination with Teon.  It was one of our movie dates pretty early on in our relationship.  I picked that wack-ass movie so its no fault of his.  I'll see about the fifth installment or maybe I won't.  Who knows these days?

Thursday, July 14, 2011

what's keith USING?

Relieves dry nails and flakey cuticles. The unique pen delivery system moisturizes cuticles effectively and the quick dry formula allows for a no mess application. Fortified with Vitamins E, A, C, Pro-Vitamin B5 and Aloe, this fast-acting complex deeply hydrates, nourishes and seals in moisture. The key ingredients Avocado and Almond Oils help to condition nails and cuticles for improved appearance. The result is softer, easy to manage cuticles and healthy hydrated nails.

To be honest, I think that there is nothing more unsexy than a guy with fucked up nails.  In fact, I highly believe that guys who do not take care of their nails hardly get any play in the bedroom, if you know what I mean.  That is why I consistently give myself a mani-pedi every week, not that I'm getting any.  And afterwards, I always apply this product to the nails and cuticles of both my hands and feet.  This product adds the finishing touch of moisture and after applied I can say that my nails are officially SEXY.  Again, not that I'm getting any.

Friday, July 8, 2011


1. 1+1 > 1/5
2. I Care > 1.5/5
3. I Miss You > 2.5/5
5. Party > 2.5/5
6. Rather Die Young > 1.5/5
7. Start Over > 3.5/5
8. Love On Top > 2.5/5
9. Countdown > 3.5/5
10. End Of Time > 1.5/5
11. I Was Here > 3.5/5

15. Dance For You > 4.5/5

Overall, I give it 3.5/5 ;definitely a must have summer album. 
It beats Lady Gaga's Born This Way any day of the week.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

keith, WHO WAS THAT?

My second post today.  I just had to share a little something that happened earlier while I was out.  While walking west on East Baltimore Street and while crossing the Light Street intersection, a guy said "Hi cutie" as he walked past me.  I then quickly said "Hello" and shrugged it off, however after a couple seconds I thought Who was that?  Do I know this person?  So I glanced back to take a look once I got back onto the sidewalk and he was also glancing back at me.  We then both smiled and waved.  I didn't recognize him yet I was wearing sunglasses so I didn't get a great look.  I will say that he gave me much needed confidence boost to start my day.  That's all.  Get back to your own business.


I left the shelter to go grab something to eat as well as visit the library and when I returned, both of my bags were lying next to the dumpster.  As I was walking up to the shelter and looking through the gate, I just knew I could spot my red duffel bag near the dumpster but I shrugged it off and thought It can't be.  Well I was wrong.  When I got inside and saw that my bags were no longer in the Day room, I just had to check the dumpster and there they were.  I see they're finally serious about the whole "leaving with your bags" policy.  I have to go home tomorrow and leave most of this stuff there.  I have way too much with me.  Damn.  Another MY LIFE SUCKS Chronicle.

what's keith DOING?

I'm sitting in the Day Room and I just thought I would chime in.  I woke up at about 05:00 AM and I am tired.  I hardly got any sleep last night.  After much deliberation I've concluded that I have way too much stuff with me.  I need to downsize ASAP.  I can no longer put on stunts and shows.  Fierceness is not a priority at the moment.  Wait.  Who am I kidding?  You know I"m still going to be the flyest homeless guy you've ever seen.  Damn.  I hate my circumstances.  I hate Glenda and I hate my life.  When will things get better?  I'm tired of this long slow slide down.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

who does keith AGREE WITH?

So true.

what's keith DOING?

I'm sitting on a brand new bed in this brand new shelter.  Luckily today I got a bed however tomorrow is a whole other story.  The facility is no longer "first come, first serve".  Just because I'm sitting in the Day Room before 05:00 PM, which is when staff starts handing out bed assignments, doesn't mean I'm guaranteed a bed.  The staff will now take one person from the Day Room and one person from the outside line when assigning beds.  This is to allow those who actually get out to handle their business a chance to get a bed among those who do nothing but sit and watch T.V. all day.  I honestly don't know how this is going to work.  This place is too small.  I feel so cramped it's ridiculous.  250 people is honestly even way to many people for this space.

Now with all that being said, the new shelter comes with some good amenities.  Beds, for starters.  In fact, bunk beds.  No more sleeping on the floor.  Two washer and two dryer machines.  Staff will even supply the laundry detergent.  Computers for the clients to use.  17 individual showers for use from 05:00 PM to 06:30 AM.  I will admit that the new shelter looks nice.  I mean it's brand new so it should, but it's too small.  Way too small. 

Before I forget.  Glenda texted me today at 05:13 PM.

"Hope u makn out ok luv u."

Fuck her.  She's dead in my book.

Bye Bye.  To be continued.

Well, I just came from dinner and I got a compliment from one of the female staff.  She said my face was perfect.  I don't know if she was complimenting me on my even skin tone or makeup but either way it was a sincere compliment.  She also said I have nice white teeth.  I know Girl!  Fated to be hated.

Monday, July 4, 2011

keith, WHY?

Glenda changed her mind about letting me reside at her W. Lanvale Street home.  We had a huge argument about it.  She says she changed her mind at the last minute because a.) she's embarrassed by me, b.) my lifestyle and c.) because I wear makeup.  Again, I'm shit up a creak as she says and no one cares.  Well I won't cry.  I just have to keep on keeping on.  I already know that this new shelter is going to be a trip.

Among other things, I've decided that I will never talk about where I'm residing in Glenda's presence ever.  I will also never refer to Glenda as my mother and I will NEVER utter the words "I Love You" to her at all.  I could care less for her at this point.  She's practically dead to me.  Dead as a doorknob.

what's keith READING?

In her recent (and excellent) memoir, Fury, about her own dance with suppressed rage, Koren Zailckas writes that "depression is anger with enthusiasm."

Anger Management
Elle, March 2011
Page 360

how long has keith BEEN AT JHR?

5 Months, 6 Days & Counting

Sunday, July 3, 2011

what's keith DOING?

It is now 09:00 PM and I texted Glenda all of ten minutes ago asking if I could reside at her W. Lanvale Street property.  I know.  How lame of me, right?  To ask her via text.  I just don't have courage to call her and ask her.  And of course, just like anything, I ask at the last minute.  JHR shuts this location down on July 5, 2011 at 02:00 PM.  Stand by and we'll see what she says.  If she doesn't text me in the next thirty minutes, I'll give her a call.

Good news.  She texted back at 09:39 PM saying Yes.  She also called me a couple minutes after she sent the text.  Yay!  I'm out this bitch, hopefully forever.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

why isn't keith FEELING WELL?

Your beloved friend and author has been feeling under the weather these past few days.  At first, I thought it was just a flare-up with my allergies, however now, I'm convinced that I have the oh so common cold.  My nose is stuffy while also feeling like somebody punched me right in my nasal area.  My head aches and I constantly feel cold.  I'm even starting to cough quite a bit and I can feel the onset of a sore throat.  FML.  And another thing- I think the lymph nodes under my arms are swollen.  I truly don't know if their swollen lymph nodes or just cysts from using too much deodorant.  Yeah, I commonly get cysts from using too much deo. 

[Deep Breath]  I feel like a deep shit pizza.  Please bask in my depression and tell me how shitty you feel.  Maybe I'll feel just a little bit better.  And if you feel well today, FUCK YOU!
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