Your beloved friend and author has been feeling under the weather these past few days. At first, I thought it was just a flare-up with my allergies, however now, I'm convinced that I have the oh so common cold. My nose is stuffy while also feeling like somebody punched me right in my nasal area. My head aches and I constantly feel cold. I'm even starting to cough quite a bit and I can feel the onset of a sore throat. FML. And another thing- I think the lymph nodes under my arms are swollen. I truly don't know if their swollen lymph nodes or just cysts from using too much deodorant. Yeah, I commonly get cysts from using too much deo.
[Deep Breath] I feel like a deep shit pizza. Please bask in my depression and tell me how shitty you feel. Maybe I'll feel just a little bit better. And if you feel well today, FUCK YOU!