I still have yet to get tested for HIV. While being questioned at the clinic Monday before last, I had lied to the nurse practitioner. She asked me when was my last HIV test. I told her two weeks ago and that the results were Negative or Non-responsive. Again, I know that prolonging my diagnosis is only harming my health. I'm skinnier now more than I have been since my junior year of high school and I think it's due to my rapid HIV infection. I can't seem to keep any weight on and I constantly have persistent rashes which look like boils and hives that I uncontrollably scratch every evening. I think those symptoms are due to HIV if not herpes. And that leaves us with the last big blunder, Hepatitis C, which I might also have. I don't know. I don't even know if I really have HIV or even AIDS. The only way to know is to get tested and I'm still afraid to. I guess in the meantime, I'll bask in this decade long asymptomatic phase before I wilt and die. Even now, I can't blame anyone else for my actions. I guess I really don't love myself as much as I thought, huh?
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