what's keith WATCHING?

The music video for "Far Away" by Marsha Ambrosius is so beautiful and such a breath of fresh air.  It came at a moment when I really needed it.  To be honest, during the past year, I've contemplated sucicide on several occassions.  Like, "how should I do it?", "what's the easiest and less painful way to go?", "would anyone really care?", "should I take others with me?".  These are the thoughts that run through my head often.  And I truly think that the only reason I'm still here is because I haven't got the guts to do it.  Deep inside, I know that sucicide is the easiest way to end all of my problems.  It's the easiest way to end all of my circumstances.  But I also know that it's a permanent solution to only a temporary problem and it's a cowardly thing to do. 

I guess, even through it all, I still have hope.  Hope that things will get better.  I don't seem to see it, but I feel it in my bones.  And that's what keeps me going.  That's why I'm still here.